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How to Help an Unemployed Friend: Jayme Albin, Ph.D. Advises

Alongside all the restrictions and regulations set in place to curb the spread of corona, many people are looking for constructive ways to help and support those affected by the virus. As the economic fallout of the past few months unfolds, more and more people are facing unemployment (or underemployment). We spoke to Dr. Jayme Albin, a New York psychologist, to hear about how friends or family can support their jobless loved ones right now.

1) Be Present. True friends don’t shy away from awkward situations. It can be uncomfortable to reach out to an unemployed friend when your job is still in tact, but that is what you need to do. Even if you can’t be physically present, set a time to chat, share a good joke, and be their source of strength. You may not necessarily be able to help them with their job search, but you can help them with your positivity and friendship.

2) Offer Concrete Advice. Looking for a new job can be overwhelming. Albin cautions against extending platitudes and vague advice. Instead, she suggests, looking at their online profiles, (like LinkedIn) and making tangible suggestions. Offer assistance in professionalizing their digital presence; recommend employment websites you have tried.

3) Be a Connector. Unemployed friends don’t only need a job. They also need connections to the right people who can lead to the job interviews and network building. Think about the people in your immediate and extended circles who might be able to help your friend. Think about the skills and experience your friend has, Albin recommends, and then consult your contact list to see who might be able to help.

4) Don’t Judge or Blame. Nobody could have predicted the current economic turmoil; nobody should be blamed for being laid off or out of work. Avoid drudging up a friend’s past mistakes and stay focused on the future. Don’t worry or nag when it seems that your friend isn’t taking job searching seriously. Be consistently supportive by reminding them of all their good traits and skills and sending them relevant job opportunities.

*Bringing a meal is a practical and easy way to help an unemployed friend, says Dr. Jayme Albin.*

5) Do Them a Favor. The job search can seem like a full-time job itself. With all the worries your friend might be facing now, they can always use some help. You can make their lives easier be sending over dinner, taking their young children for a few hours, or stocking up their pantry with supplies. Dr. Albin says that most people find it hard to ask for help, even if they really need it, so just decide what you can do to help and do it.

Jayme Albin reminds us that this is a challenging time for everyone. The best way to show an unemployed friend or family member you care is to be a source of support, not a source of stress. Be the person who boosts confidence, stays positive, and follows through. This will not only help your friend right now, according to Dr. Albin, but it will also strengthen your friendship in the long run.

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Mother Catalogues Children and Animal Friendships in Russian Countryside

Many mothers will testify to the fact that throughout their busy days they have little time to sit back and enjoy their children or to appreciate the beauty that surrounds them in the form of simple, everyday moments. That is one of the reasons that Elena Shumilova, a mother in Russia, has taken over the internet with her amazing photography. Shumilova, a mother of two in the outskirts of Andreapol, purchased her first camera in 2012 and has been snapping breathtaking photos of her children ever since.

“Children and animals – it’s my life. I’m a mom with two sons and we spend a lot of time on the farm,” Shumilova said in an interview. “When shooting I prefer to use natural light – both inside and outside. I love all sorts of light conditions – street lights, candle light, fog, smoke, rain and snow – everything that gives visual and emotional depth to the image.”

Shumilova explained that her education in architecture, as well as experience in painting and sketching, have defined her “feeling of photography and composition.”

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“I’ve been shooting every day and processing the images at nights. By autumn I felt I found my own way of approaching photography,” she said.

View more of Elena’s photographs here.

Writing Difficulties and ADHD

A recent study revealed that children, and especially girls, with attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder are more likely to have writing difficulties. These problems include poor spelling, grammar and handwriting.

As parents of ADHD kids already know, difficulties in reading or math are common signs for teachers when it comes to identifying the disorder. However, “written-language disorder is kind of overlooked,” according to study author Dr. Slavica Katusic.

She went on to explain that writing “is a critical skill for academic success, social and behavioral well-being.” She added that if writing problems aren’t identified early on, it can affect children into their adult years.

Specialists who were not involved in the study have confirmed the logic of the results. Annette Majnemer studied handwriting in kids with ADHD at McGill University in Montreal. She agreed that many children suffering from ADHD have difficulties in the field.

“It might be partially the fact that they’re inattentive and distractible and hyperactive,” she said, adding that other possible causes are problems with motor skills and coordination.

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Dr. Katusic stated that genetics may also contribute to ADHD and writing problems. No matter what the cause, Katusic explains that treatment and early identification of learning disabilities can contribute greatly to children’s lives. It is important to identify all possible learning problems in a child before planning a treatment, she said.

“When parents notice something or teachers notice something, kids have to be treated not only for ADHD, but they have to be tested to see if they have other learning problems,” she said. “Clinicians and the teachers have to emphasize that the testing has to be done for everything, every kind of learning disability. It has to be identified early and the treatment has to start early.”

Eating Disorders Rising Among the Youngest Patients

Eating disorders among children seems to be on the rise according to a new report released by the American Academy of Pediatrics on Monday. The report showed a large increase in the hospitalization of children for eating issues.

An increase in hospitalizations of 119% was observed among children younger than 12 years old for eating disorders between the years 1999 and 2006.

Another report was released last year by the federal Agency for Healthcare Research and Quality showed similar results. That study found an overall increase of 15% in hospital stays during the same seven year period with the largest increase among the youngest patients.
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The academy is urging pediatricians to be on the look-out for affected children with routine screen for eating disorders and special treatment for those found with such disorders. The Academy stated that physicians can play an important role in preventing eating disorders by teaching their young patients about good eating habits, proper nutrition and the benefits of exercise so that there is not an unhealthy focus on weight gain and dieting.

Study Shows Kids Upset When Parent Leaves for War

New research has shown that, not surprisingly, there are more visits to the doctor for mental health issues in children of military families when one of the parents is deployed. I what is being called the most comprehensive study so far conducted on this issue, the conclusion of the research showed a 10% rise in doctor visits when one parent is deployed as compared to when that parent is at home.

Interestingly, although doctor visits for problems in children such as anxiety and school misbehavior increase when the parent is off to war, other complaints for all physical problems fell.

It is not rocket science to know that deployment puts a strain on families, especially on the parent who is left at home with the kids. But this study surveyed over half a million children, making it an excellent and reliable reflection of the general reality that military families face when a parent is deployed.

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The study will be published in the journal Pediatrics was led by Dr. Gregory H. Gorman of the Uniformed Services University of the Health Sciences. He and his team analyzed the health records of children between the ages of 3 and 8 who have at least one parent in the military services. The over 640,000 records compared how often and for what reasons children were brought to the doctor during 2006-2007 when parents were home and when they were deployed.

“This study gives us an excellent beginning to understand what’s happening” in military households, said Benjamin Karney, a psychologist at the University of California, Los Angeles. “It’s pretty amazing that they were able to look at essentially the entire military population and strongly document something we suspected was happening but didn’t know for sure.”

Science Museums are More for Fun Than for Learning

I was just at the Science Museum with my kids the other day. Even though it’s noisy and crowded the kids still seemed to have a lot of fun. They had fun for the simple reason that they could touch just about everything in sight. There were so many levers, buttons and things that make noise to keep them busy for hours, and all in pursuit of knowledge. Remembering my own experiences as a child in similar places, I always doubt the actual educational benefits of exhibits that show that, when you press this button, that thing over there lights up. All the child knows is that, “Wow, I pressed a button and the light lit up.” It’s up to the mom to actually explain that, “The reason the light comes on is because there is a magnet which turns on when you press this button and then off when you press another, making an alternating current…” and on and on, and when Mom looks up from reading the explanation she discovers that she has been reading to the thin air, and on top of that, the two year old twins are nowhere to be found! Help!

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